omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
