When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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