I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
