I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
