Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
