i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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