Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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