Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
