I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
It all started with a game of naked twister.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
