He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
