If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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