Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
