Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
