I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
