We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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