you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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