dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
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