Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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