I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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