if i can run in heels then i can drive
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
