Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
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