you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
