So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
