girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
50% drunk capacity currently
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
