I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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