So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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