I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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