she was so not down for the gang bang
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
So vagazzling was a success
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
