Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
