Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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