we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
