Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
