I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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