so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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