he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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