Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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