No more Irish car bombs ever.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
