Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
