It's like God shit irony all over that family
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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