your thong is hanging out like whoa
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
True but thats because hes a fetus.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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