I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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