we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
