Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
