I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
