So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
