remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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