Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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