Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
me + whiskey = a bad person
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
