I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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