Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
